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Movie 43 - I only lasted about 3 sketches

 

Mama - There is nothing wrong with this movie, i just found the whole thing kind of dull 6/10

 

Warm Bodies - I'm sure this movie is good just not my cup of tea, lost patience about 44 minutes in and turned it off.

Edited by Deer
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Mama - There is nothing wrong with this movie, There was something wrong with this movie - The shitty CGI ending 6/10

 

 

to be fair i was not even paying attention, i was singing songs in my head waiting for the movie to end.

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world war z: the ho-hum, workmanlike-but-rarely-inspired direction made me look up the director. He has Monster's Ball, Finding Neverland, Stranger than Fiction, The Kite Runner, and Quantum of Solace to his credit. Well, add another one to his string of half-successes. At least he hasn't gone downhill, I guess.

 

Film was "just fine", although it's very hard to make over-the-top cgi suspenseful. I'm not sure there was a single moment in the first 2/3 of the movie where I was on the edge of my seat. I thought the "twist" ending was fine, too (better than, say, I Am Legend), and I didn't mind the transition from epic-scale to corridor-scale as much as some other wattmers. Like zaphod, I enjoyed the unexplained nuke explosion.

 

The premise was preposterous though, unless I missed the part where a virus that infects you in 10 seconds could be spread via air travel. Wouldn't all the planes crash en route?

 

I think it's safe to say this flick represents the logical suicide of the latest zombie craze. I wouldn't be investing in zombie-stocks after this.

 

6/10

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Variety 4/10

 

Written by Kathy Acker, this lost gem of downtown post-punk cinema is both a time capsule from an energetic moment in American independent filmmaking and a simmering portrait of a young woman losing her grip on reality. Christine is adrift, trying to pay the rent, when barmaid and best friend Nan suggests a gig working in the box office of the Variety, a porn cinema. Initially unphased by the job, curiosity soon gets the better of her and Christine is drawn into the world of her patrons, and grows increasing fascinated by a shadowy customer, with a fervour that spills into obsession.

 

although this film passes the Bechdel test it is so far from feminist cinema that i would call it an anti-feminist film. the lead character is promising until she gets a job at a porno theatre and is apparently so impressionable she quickly becomes obsessed with porn and descends into some pretty psychotic behaviour. all the women in the film are downtrodden and weak despite being young and attractive. they sit around talking about their low standards about men and seem to have no ambition beyond attaining a man. my favourite part of the movie was the cinematography and some really nice lens flares.

 

seriously if the best thing about your movie is some nice lens flare, you really have a problem.

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Anyone seen 'The Way Way Back' - caught it on a bored day off work and was nicely surprised by how good it was/10

Sam Rockwell (as always) was on top form and a definite highlight/10

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Guest Jimmy McMessageboard

Le Donk & Scor Zay Zee - 7/10

 

i avoided that film because it looked so stupid from quite a serious director. is it actually any good? 7/10 is a very high score

 

End Of the World

1st 30 minutes = 9/10

The rest of the movie = yawn/10

 

is that the correct title or did you mean 'the worlds end' or 'this is the end'?

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I think he meant War of the Worlds

 

Flight - wtf? Started out pretty great, kept my interest for a while although it felt overlong, then nosedived into schmaltz at the end. Although I have to admit, up until that point, I would never have suspected it was Robert Zimekis. When I saw his name it all made sense. He's a weird director, he's got the childlike "Back to the Future" side, but then you recall the parts in Back to the Future about almost sleeping with your mom, or the part about child sexual abuse in Forrest Gump, and you realize he's always shoehorned a bit of uncomfortable-ness into his feel-good dramas. This just had a bit more of that, but the same tidy moral at the end.

 

Movie could have been 1/2 hr shorter, at least.

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the only good part in that whole movie i thought was like a 1 minute long scene that showed denzel washington drunk on the couch, seemed fairly realistic but everything else about it was crap. even the 'intense plane crash' scene was kind of underwhelming. I didn't get the point of it. If it was trying to be some sort of moral of 'even a hero can be a bad guy' or something it failed.

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Finally got around to seeing Cabin in the Woods, can't watch much horrors cause my gf who I live with is squeamish. That was good fun though... I liked how it kinda points out all the cliche's of horror films while making there a reason for them in the plot. And when all hell breaks loose in the lab was just awesome.

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M0BmtcJ.jpg

 

this movie was bad enough for having mindless direction, but it also made the mistake of trying to make a commentary on today's youth culture and their pursuit of easy rewards from shortcuts through a mindless and repetitive collage of spring breakers partying, drinking and gun barrel fellatio

 

1 mind splitting hangover out of 10

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although this film passes the Bechdel test it is so far from feminist cinema that i would call it an anti-feminist film.

 

Ha, I only found out about the Bechdel test this weekend.

Unfortunately the girl who mentioned it, who seemed interesting at first, turned out to be a bit of a reactionary idiot.

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End Of the World

1st 30 minutes = 9/10

The rest of the movie = yawn/10

is that the correct title or did you mean 'the worlds end' or 'this is the end'?

I don't even know. The one with Simon Pegg.

The new one. You know.

 

M0BmtcJ.jpg

 

this movie was bad enough for having mindless direction, but it also made the mistake of trying to make a commentary on today's youth culture and their pursuit of easy rewards from shortcuts through a mindless and repetitive collage of spring breakers partying, drinking and gun barrel fellatio

 

1 mind splitting hangover out of 10

Wrong.

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although this film passes the Bechdel test it is so far from feminist cinema that i would call it an anti-feminist film.

 

Ha, I only found out about the Bechdel test this weekend.

Unfortunately the girl who mentioned it, who seemed interesting at first, turned out to be a bit of a reactionary idiot.

 

HA! well don't let that put you off. but as this film proves the test is flawed. interestingly though it helped me realise why i'm so keen on certain directors.

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End Of the World

1st 30 minutes = 9/10

The rest of the movie = yawn/10

is that the correct title or did you mean 'the worlds end' or 'this is the end'?

I don't even know. The one with Simon Pegg.

The new one. You know.

 

M0BmtcJ.jpg

 

this movie was bad enough for having mindless direction, but it also made the mistake of trying to make a commentary on today's youth culture and their pursuit of easy rewards from shortcuts through a mindless and repetitive collage of spring breakers partying, drinking and gun barrel fellatio

 

1 mind splitting hangover out of 10

Wrong.

 

 

imho this movies visual aesthetic doesn't really work on crap TV's or small laptop monitors

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End Of the World

1st 30 minutes = 9/10

The rest of the movie = yawn/10

is that the correct title or did you mean 'the worlds end' or 'this is the end'?

I don't even know. The one with Simon Pegg.

The new one. You know.

 

M0BmtcJ.jpg

 

this movie was bad enough for having mindless direction, but it also made the mistake of trying to make a commentary on today's youth culture and their pursuit of easy rewards from shortcuts through a mindless and repetitive collage of spring breakers partying, drinking and gun barrel fellatio

 

1 mind splitting hangover out of 10

Wrong.

imho this movies visual aesthetic doesn't really work on crap TV's or small laptop monitors

There's nothing about this movie that doesn't work anywhere.
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those double negatives make my brain hurt

 

so...I saw Pain & Gain last night. About 1/2 of the way into the movie I was ready to say it was surprisingly entertaining and Michael Bay's best flick (not a very high bar, admittedly). Then it became really implausible and wore out its welcome.

 

Worth watching, but the lols diminish the further you get into it. The Rock was surprisingly good as a simpleminded, Jesus-loving meathead. His transition to coke fiend had a few nice lols.

 

If it was edited tighter and the more ridiculous moments were cut out (eg., the Rock getting his toe shot off, somehow finding it at the bottom of a canal and picking it up, then feeding it to a dog later) it would be a much stronger film. Bay is still his own worst enemy when it comes to overdoing things.

 

5/10 but recommended viewing for shits and giggles.

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I have seen "Feuchtgebiete" (Wetlands), the recently release film-version of that "controversial" novel by Charlotte Roche...

 

well, the first 45 minutes of it. Then the stream broke down and I couldn't be arsed to find a new one to finish this disaster. This was probably the worst piece of shit I've seen this year, certainly the worst piece of German film shit.

The novel has been over-hyped ever since its release, it's kind of a "filthy version" of that godawful Shades of Grey, starring a girl who likes to rub her twat on public toilet seats and has zero interest in anything else but anal sex, then has to go to the hospital because of her severe hemorrhoids. A very "deep" plot. However, the book is known for its explicit descriptions and is celebrated as a kind of neo-feminist-manifesto, and the film apparently had people leaving the cinema and the usual PR-crap, so we figured, it would at least have a bit of controversy or at the very least a bit of close-up-vag in it - it does not. It doesn't have anything in it except for the massive (non-explicit) dick it sucks from the very beginning. Every cliché of German cinema gets emulated here, it's so desperately trying to capture the wittiness of "Run Lola Run" and such, but it does so in a completely soulless, textbook manner, as if the film was made by a bunch of lawyers who calculated the box-office during the writing process ... which thinking about it probably is the case.

The absolute worst bit of the film is the lead actress who apparently gets a lot of praise now by various "critics", being described as the "greatest discovery for German cinema in years", being praised for "conquering such a bold role" and such ... there is no way I can have an appropriate reaction to this by mere text, I actually punched my table with my fist when I read it yesterday. This is probably the most obviously talentless sock puppet of an actress I've seen to date. They have her reading out most of her lines in a voice-over, and even here she sounds like a non-german-speaking autistic person on serious medication reading out a German text. Every line of hers is cringeworthy and unbelievable, you can tell how the "actress" (assuming she did understand what she was reading out in the first place) has a totally different position to the text's contents than the character she is supposed to play. Another reason for outrage is how they totally got rid of the whole assfucking theme that's kind of the core of the book. Probably even to mention that would have been too much for German audiences. She does say "When it comes to sex for me, the butt is involved." so I guess that's as hardcore as it gets with this movie. Wait a minute, wasn't this supposed to be a pro-feminist movie? What the hell? How about have a socially competent main character who does a bunch of stuff and then goes "by the way, I like my vag" - instead, we get a mentally deranged Freudian It-character who can't even manage to speak properly and is totally fixated on her cunt as the center of her life, which of course, is only hinted and not shown, so you're left with a character who is just generally a hollow, neurotic shell of a person. So there's your role model I guess. To give the film the benefit of the doubt, I haven't seen the 2nd half of it, perhaps we get to see her with a baseball bat up her ass in full close-up later on, but I have my doubts about how this would raise the film's quality. This is German cinema money making, anti-feminism and for the most part complete banality at its finest. I probably would have considered self-harming, had I paid any money for seeing it. What a piece of shit.

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After Earth

 

I feel like I freebased Dianetics. Feels good, man. Feels right.

 

Also, I think Scientology really lends it self to acting. The wooden, almost robotic acting of Will Smith, mixed with the retarded British/Yonkers accent of Jaden Smith made my penis tingle. When Jaden Smith scrunches his eyebrows, he looks like an alien, no makeup required.

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