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Lost Highway - After having being told of some elements (spoilers) in this movie I thought I had this completely figured out in the first 30 minutes. I was wrong. Completely overwhelmed and taken into the world of Lynch yet again. Incredible.

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Mad max was painful. They actually put a lot of effort into some things (detail, action) which I acknowledge and respect. But none of the characters had any meat to them. Really really sad, but I guess that's the current state of popular cinema. Without characters to care about, I found myself totally uninvested in the movie, so the non-stop action began to feel like a drag after 1/3 of the movie.

It's sad, cause I watched Mad Maxes 1&2 the same day and for tbe first time. You can't really compare the new one to pt1, but you can to pt2. And however silly the characters are there, they lift the movie to a totally different level than this sad piece of crap.

i agree, the backstory and 'meat' of the feral child in Road Warrior was so superb i couldn't believe it when Fury Road started and they had no backstories for the characters

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Mad max was painful. They actually put a lot of effort into some things (detail, action) which I acknowledge and respect. But none of the characters had any meat to them. Really really sad, but I guess that's the current state of popular cinema. Without characters to care about, I found myself totally uninvested in the movie, so the non-stop action began to feel like a drag after 1/3 of the movie.

It's sad, cause I watched Mad Maxes 1&2 the same day and for tbe first time. You can't really compare the new one to pt1, but you can to pt2. And however silly the characters are there, they lift the movie to a totally different level than this sad piece of crap.

i agree, the backstory and 'meat' of the feral child in Road Warrior was so superb i couldn't believe it when Fury Road started and they had no backstories for the characters

 

The feral child in MM2 had no backstory, but he was still way more interesting than ANY character in new movie. To me, at least. What about you, honestly?

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Jon Glazer's Birth from 2004. Like an amalgamation of Home Alone and Big written by J.M.Coetzee. After the bleeping ace Under the Skin soundtrack, this orchestral one brought the film down.

 

Kidman's Eyebrows/10

Edited by Echolalia
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Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films - 7/10

 

Really interesting documentary about one of the most prolific movie studios in the 70s and 80s. Especially during the 80s where they made Superman IV, American Ninja, Delta Force, Masters of the Universe and a whole bunch of other '80 classics that are absolutely god-awful.

One of the guys who owned the company was out of his fucking mind, but his mouth made his career.

 

My biggest problem with the documentary was the fact that everything went so fucking fast. The documentary never stopped and dwelled at some of the stories. It was constantly cutting between interviewees at a ridiculous fast pace.

 

 

Area 51 - 0/10

 

Then for some reason I decided to watch Area 51 by Oren Peli, the guy who directed the first Paranormal Activity. The movie was filmed in 2009 and wasn't released until now, so I should probably have seen this one coming from miles away. Also, this was a found footage movie.

One of the worst movies I've ever seen. Even if I wanted I couldn't spoil the movie for you because nothing happens.

Four idiots decides to go to Area 51. Oh and one month before they go one of them acts strange by standing in the middle of the road. So, they go to Roswell, meet up with a girl who knows a thing or two about Area 51, they break into the base with her (they leave one friend behind in the car), they go into a hangar, down some stairs, through a couple of office buildings where they see some photos of people lying on stretchers. Then someone enters the room, so they go into a different room. Then they head out to the stairways where they found out that the building has more floors than they expected. Spooky. Then they reach a big door and the group splits up. The black guy is by himself and is trying to escape the security guards and the guy who acted weird goes through the big door with the girl. Oh, and before this they actually find a UFO and the only one who is able to enter it is the guy who acted weird. None of them react the way a normal person probably would. They're like, "Woah..." and that's pretty much it.

So, the guy and the girl take the elevator even further downstairs where they reach some sort of underground cave where they find clothes and toys and sleeping capsules. And because they're a bunch of fucking morons they wake up one of the aliens sleeping in the sleeping capsule. So they head back to the elevator and get a quick glimpse of the alien outside of the elevator.

Meanwhile the black guy is still trying to escape the security guards, but it turns out that one of the aliens has escaped or something, so the alien is beating up the security guards. I should maybe point out that you never get to see ANYTHING. You see quick glimpses of the aliens and that's it.

Then the two idiots in the elevator get off at a level where they stumble upon a hatch which they decide to tear upon and crawl into even though it's slimy and stinky. Then an alien tears a hole in the tunnel they're crawling around in and then fall into a white room where nothing happens. The girl is hypnotized by something and then floats away, then suddenly the camera starts floating and so does the guy who held it. The effect they decided to use on the guy's voice is hilarious. They've reversed his vocals, added reverb, and then reversed it again so it gets this classic Poltergeist ghost effect. It's fucking terrible!

So the camera floats away, falls out of a hole and then it turns out that they were inside a UFO, and then the camera falls to the ground.

Cut to the black guy escaping Area 51 with all the people working there because shit is going down (actually, it's not), then he runs to the friend waiting in the car and they drive away. NOT! The car stops and they get sucked up into the UFO.

 

Roll credits.

 

Then after the credits you see a random old fella picking up the camera that fell out of the UFO. Spooky, huh?

 

That's the movie. That's seriously what happens. I didn't bother including that they broke into a guy's house to steal his Area 51 security card, but that's it. There were no scares, no twists, no nothing. Also, the continuity errors were insane! They weren't even trying.

Fuck movies.

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Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films - 7/10

 

Really interesting documentary about one of the most prolific movie studios in the 70s and 80s. Especially during the 80s where they made Superman IV, American Ninja, Delta Force, Masters of the Universe and a whole bunch of other '80 classics that are absolutely god-awful.

One of the guys who owned the company was out of his fucking mind, but his mouth made his career.

 

My biggest problem with the documentary was the fact that everything went so fucking fast. The documentary never stopped and dwelled at some of the stories. It was constantly cutting between interviewees at a ridiculous fast pace.

 

 

Area 51 - 0/10

 

Then for some reason I decided to watch Area 51 by Oren Peli, the guy who directed the first Paranormal Activity. The movie was filmed in 2009 and wasn't released until now, so I should probably have seen this one coming from miles away. Also, this was a found footage movie.

One of the worst movies I've ever seen. Even if I wanted I couldn't spoil the movie for you because nothing happens.

Four idiots decides to go to Area 51. Oh and one month before they go one of them acts strange by standing in the middle of the road. So, they go to Roswell, meet up with a girl who knows a thing or two about Area 51, they break into the base with her (they leave one friend behind in the car), they go into a hangar, down some stairs, through a couple of office buildings where they see some photos of people lying on stretchers. Then someone enters the room, so they go into a different room. Then they head out to the stairways where they found out that the building has more floors than they expected. Spooky. Then they reach a big door and the group splits up. The black guy is by himself and is trying to escape the security guards and the guy who acted weird goes through the big door with the girl. Oh, and before this they actually find a UFO and the only one who is able to enter it is the guy who acted weird. None of them react the way a normal person probably would. They're like, "Woah..." and that's pretty much it.

So, the guy and the girl take the elevator even further downstairs where they reach some sort of underground cave where they find clothes and toys and sleeping capsules. And because they're a bunch of fucking morons they wake up one of the aliens sleeping in the sleeping capsule. So they head back to the elevator and get a quick glimpse of the alien outside of the elevator.

Meanwhile the black guy is still trying to escape the security guards, but it turns out that one of the aliens has escaped or something, so the alien is beating up the security guards. I should maybe point out that you never get to see ANYTHING. You see quick glimpses of the aliens and that's it.

Then the two idiots in the elevator get off at a level where they stumble upon a hatch which they decide to tear upon and crawl into even though it's slimy and stinky. Then an alien tears a hole in the tunnel they're crawling around in and then fall into a white room where nothing happens. The girl is hypnotized by something and then floats away, then suddenly the camera starts floating and so does the guy who held it. The effect they decided to use on the guy's voice is hilarious. They've reversed his vocals, added reverb, and then reversed it again so it gets this classic Poltergeist ghost effect. It's fucking terrible!

So the camera floats away, falls out of a hole and then it turns out that they were inside a UFO, and then the camera falls to the ground.

Cut to the black guy escaping Area 51 with all the people working there because shit is going down (actually, it's not), then he runs to the friend waiting in the car and they drive away. NOT! The car stops and they get sucked up into the UFO.

 

Roll credits.

 

Then after the credits you see a random old fella picking up the camera that fell out of the UFO. Spooky, huh?

 

That's the movie. That's seriously what happens. I didn't bother including that they broke into a guy's house to steal his Area 51 security card, but that's it. There were no scares, no twists, no nothing. Also, the continuity errors were insane! They weren't even trying.

Fuck movies.

goddamnit i love this. probably the longest review in the thread is for a 0/10 film. haha brilliant.

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Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films - 7/10

 

Really interesting documentary about one of the most prolific movie studios in the 70s and 80s. Especially during the 80s where they made Superman IV, American Ninja, Delta Force, Masters of the Universe and a whole bunch of other '80 classics that are absolutely god-awful.

One of the guys who owned the company was out of his fucking mind, but his mouth made his career.

 

My biggest problem with the documentary was the fact that everything went so fucking fast. The documentary never stopped and dwelled at some of the stories. It was constantly cutting between interviewees at a ridiculous fast pace.

 

 

Area 51 - 0/10

 

Then for some reason I decided to watch Area 51 by Oren Peli, the guy who directed the first Paranormal Activity. The movie was filmed in 2009 and wasn't released until now, so I should probably have seen this one coming from miles away. Also, this was a found footage movie.

One of the worst movies I've ever seen. Even if I wanted I couldn't spoil the movie for you because nothing happens.

Four idiots decides to go to Area 51. Oh and one month before they go one of them acts strange by standing in the middle of the road. So, they go to Roswell, meet up with a girl who knows a thing or two about Area 51, they break into the base with her (they leave one friend behind in the car), they go into a hangar, down some stairs, through a couple of office buildings where they see some photos of people lying on stretchers. Then someone enters the room, so they go into a different room. Then they head out to the stairways where they found out that the building has more floors than they expected. Spooky. Then they reach a big door and the group splits up. The black guy is by himself and is trying to escape the security guards and the guy who acted weird goes through the big door with the girl. Oh, and before this they actually find a UFO and the only one who is able to enter it is the guy who acted weird. None of them react the way a normal person probably would. They're like, "Woah..." and that's pretty much it.

So, the guy and the girl take the elevator even further downstairs where they reach some sort of underground cave where they find clothes and toys and sleeping capsules. And because they're a bunch of fucking morons they wake up one of the aliens sleeping in the sleeping capsule. So they head back to the elevator and get a quick glimpse of the alien outside of the elevator.

Meanwhile the black guy is still trying to escape the security guards, but it turns out that one of the aliens has escaped or something, so the alien is beating up the security guards. I should maybe point out that you never get to see ANYTHING. You see quick glimpses of the aliens and that's it.

Then the two idiots in the elevator get off at a level where they stumble upon a hatch which they decide to tear upon and crawl into even though it's slimy and stinky. Then an alien tears a hole in the tunnel they're crawling around in and then fall into a white room where nothing happens. The girl is hypnotized by something and then floats away, then suddenly the camera starts floating and so does the guy who held it. The effect they decided to use on the guy's voice is hilarious. They've reversed his vocals, added reverb, and then reversed it again so it gets this classic Poltergeist ghost effect. It's fucking terrible!

So the camera floats away, falls out of a hole and then it turns out that they were inside a UFO, and then the camera falls to the ground.

Cut to the black guy escaping Area 51 with all the people working there because shit is going down (actually, it's not), then he runs to the friend waiting in the car and they drive away. NOT! The car stops and they get sucked up into the UFO.

 

Roll credits.

 

Then after the credits you see a random old fella picking up the camera that fell out of the UFO. Spooky, huh?

 

That's the movie. That's seriously what happens. I didn't bother including that they broke into a guy's house to steal his Area 51 security card, but that's it. There were no scares, no twists, no nothing. Also, the continuity errors were insane! They weren't even trying.

Fuck movies.

goddamnit i love this. probably the longest review in the thread is for a 0/10 film. haha brilliant.

Haha, well, it was more of a summary to prove that nothing happens. I'm still completely baffled!

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The other day I overheard two guys talking and picked up on the word Numspa. The word sounded familiar and it bugged me that I couldn't place it.

 

After an internet search revealed it being a character from The Golden Child played by Charles Dance I started watching it online.

 

Unfortunately I only got about 30 mins in, it was shite.

Edited by AJW
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Guest kymppinetti

'the road' was quite a good film. it had nice atmosphere throughout those two hours. senses were razor sharp wow.

although the movie was described as scifi, it wasn't. viewers got to see this dull relationship with father and son, wich i liked.

so no bang bang boom madmax on 'the road'.

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IAVHZuu.png

 

this is a 3d film only available for mobile devices through google's spotlight stories which is actually interesting because you move your phone/pad to look around the screen. so when you turn your phone, the camera turns etc.

 

imo, this has a lot of potential: currently it looks very video-gamey and so-far, a generic story but hopefully some interesting projects can be worked on (perhaps someone can peep google to the terrible film idea thread to give them that WATMM inspiration with gasper noe directing)

Edited by Nebraska
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some Tommy Wiseau type shit from the guy playing Bodhi.

 

*asymmetrical smirk* the only low that medders is graviddy

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