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Funny Autechre Stories

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Shortly after midnight, 25th September, 2015. Outside Holocene venue in Portland, OR, USA
Guys are loading up tour bus with equipment, packing up the show for the night

Phil (Cygnus): Hey Sean, do we need to start loading up the gear yet?

Sean: They've been putting the fucking shit in there the whole time!


Can't remember if those were their exact words, but it's how I remember it

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While listening to recent NTS Session my partner expressed her condolences as it was so good Autechre had obviously 'sold out'.

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I was googling 'bone tomahawk imdb' and instead I typed 'bine tomahawk imdb' then I did an lol

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Listening to Pir in car with my brother who isn't into electronic music at all. He says 'this is weird... it sounds like someone is breaking in'

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I was doing cocain with my dad who kept frantically hugging me and apologize when I put on ventolin weeze mix (by autechre) and he asked if this was “Beats” and I said yeah.

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My dad is the kind of guy who wears a big watch, very douchebag. One night he was doing banging of a chick and it was in synch with the bad vibel (which was not playing st that time) and now that’s all I can imagine when I hear that song from the cd

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every now and then again my dad takes me to the summer, to crack a cold one and enjoy the rays. once, when we were just drinking a beers and soaking up rays he said son, as my son you must promise me to always enjoy the authechre’s music. they have just come with nts “the sessions” 8 hours mix new album and you must study this work, every detail as well as the whole thing and let this music be your guide. you must never listen to me, only hear the music of those men. I have always done so as he says to this day

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after my dad did die, my father had left me he cds collection. for example “ep7” with frosted jewels. I took out my notebook and wrote a letter to him now gone. Dear father, I said, you have always held up this music for me to learn from and now I am ready to make my own create of music. Then I took out from him the old rsd10 and alesis mmt8 and r8 of Roland. To this day do I do this, even after his dead. Bc I cry when I think of him I call it “cry repetae” and lpCry” and cryistice and incryabula and, when I am finish, excrai.

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Today I learn my dad not real, no biology, only my mom boyfriend. she say my father englishman from Manchester by the sea. I go there. Walk the grey city streets look out for him my dad. mom say he skinny, wear of northface, jean too big. I see him, I think it him. he does computer all night long, no friend, never a woman. Does Skype with “rob” who only friend, a family man with child’s and with wife of own. Sean cry each time say goodbye to him. I cry too. That how I know it is him.

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now I understand he of autechre, do the beats, make it sound fuck. Rob want to do nice pads, lush, feels good. Sean too angry, say mean thing, make the beats too fuck. Warp releases anyway, they no care. Have opn now, very culture and high of class. Sean even more mad so make too long, no one enjoy. No melody at all. Too chaos. I find, it bc of me. Bc I show up. I say Sean it me you son, blood son. He startle! Afraid. Ask me how to max and msp. I show him. He believe me. Now next I try him to do lush, make beats relax and feel good, melody of emotion. Rob very please, now play with kid more. Sean not know. Drink too much coffee, feel nervous and scare. But he come around soon. Next autechre like old style, no more fuck.

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Amen

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lol

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Marry me

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/subforum

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Rob want to do nice pads, lush, feels good. Sean too angry, say mean thing, make the beats too fuck. Warp releases anyway

 

lmoa

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Sean pls. No more fuck.

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Today I learn my dad not real, no biology, only my mom boyfriend. she say my father englishman from Manchester by the sea. I go there. Walk the grey city streets look out for him my dad. mom say he skinny, wear of northface, jean too big. I see him, I think it him. he does computer all night long, no friend, never a woman. Does Skype with “rob” who only friend, a family man with child’s and with wife of own. Sean cry each time say goodbye to him. I cry too. That how I know it is him.

 

FLOL

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Alco is ZCM confirmed

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lol

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Alco is ZCM confirmed

finally

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lol, way too good

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I like how the English in those posts just gets worse over time.

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I think I've told this one in CHATMM before but not in this thread...

Years ago, I was driving around with a friend. We were pretty fucking stoned and we went to pick up his gf at the time. She was like the definition of basic bitch, sheltered, rich girl. After driving around a while she's being kinda obnoxious to the point where even my buddy is getting a little annoyed with her. I had played Gantz Graf for him earlier that night, and he while not into IDM at all appreciated the chaos of the track, he knew however that basic bitch wouldn't though...

 

After getting annoyed enough with her he turns to me and says "ghOsty, put that one song on again", I put it on and he cranks the car stereo WAY the fuck up. She's instantly freaked out and overwhelmed by the sounds... and starts shouting things like "What the hell guys? What is this?!" "I don't like this, James (my buddy) turn it off!" "You guys, this is scaring me"... She's in fucking TEARS by the end of the track crying and shouting "You guys, this isn't funny staaaaaahhhp" meanwhile we're geeking out in the front and laughing our asses off at her reaction... lol, fuck you Lauren.

Edited by ghOsty

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I enjoy the idea of Gantz Graf driving someone to tears.

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Today I learn my dad not real, no biology, only my mom boyfriend. she say my father englishman from Manchester by the sea. I go there. Walk the grey city streets look out for him my dad. mom say he skinny, wear of northface, jean too big. I see him, I think it him. he does computer all night long, no friend, never a woman. Does Skype with “rob” who only friend, a family man with child’s and with wife of own. Sean cry each time say goodbye to him. I cry too. That how I know it is him.

 

 

now I understand he of autechre, do the beats, make it sound fuck. Rob want to do nice pads, lush, feels good. Sean too angry, say mean thing, make the beats too fuck. Warp releases anyway, they no care. Have opn now, very culture and high of class. Sean even more mad so make too long, no one enjoy. No melody at all. Too chaos. I find, it bc of me. Bc I show up. I say Sean it me you son, blood son. He startle! Afraid. Ask me how to max and msp. I show him. He believe me. Now next I try him to do lush, make beats relax and feel good, melody of emotion. Rob very please, now play with kid more. Sean not know. Drink too much coffee, feel nervous and scare. But he come around soon. Next autechre like old style, no more fuck.

 

Aphex thread is doing my head in a little so thought I'd wander over here and these made me genuinely laugh and smile

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